Another Chapter of the Great Rescue Journey...

I'm writing again! This means two things: 1) I've got stuff to share with you and 2) I've got time to do it! Of course, making time for one thing means cutting back on something else, or in this case all the things. This post is equal parts catharsis and chronology, so bear with me while I bring you up to speed...it's going to be a lengthy one. And before I begin, thanks for listening...it means a lot!

When we moved to California, I had to start from scratch and find a way to insert myself into the rescue scene. As I described in my reflection post about 2014 rescue, I dove head first into the thick of things, gained a lot of experience, and made a bunch of amazing friends along the way. 2015 was messy. As with any field that involves passionate people striving to do big things in the name of change for a common cause, drama and egomania all too often play a nasty role in rescue. The group I poured my soul into during 2014 tore apart at the seams, causing an enormous divide within the rescue community in its wake. Trusted leaders made selfish decisions in furtherance of personal legacies and recognition, spinning webs of lies and destroying reputations along the way without regard for damage done to the cause. I spent most of 2015 trying to recover from the personal hurt and attempts to flay my integrity; I found that fighting the good fight by marching forward with the ever-present need for rescue work was the best way to heal my wounds and affirm my value. Nose to the grindstone, as they say. Rescue never sleeps, never stops, never takes a breath. I showed people who I am and what I care about, which turned out to be a very effective way to gain trust and get good work done. Apparently this approach isn't used as much as it should be. Sincerity is always a breath of fresh air; it's too bad we only ever seem to catch fleeting gasps of it here and there.

Some of my favorites from Unleashed...

Drew and I fostered for a few other groups during the great gap period of 2015 and we had some awesome dogs come through our home, but time and time again I found myself discontent with the group dynamics for one reason or another. I also found it difficult to simply be a foot soldier when I was so used to leading and carrying a bigger role. I struggled to find my place post St. Francis and bounced around quite a bit as a "free agent". Fortunately, I had an awesome little job which I absolutely loved at Unleashed (a boutique concept store owned by Petco) as their Dog & Cat Department Manager. I worked here happily for a bit over two years and enjoyed the meshing of animal welfare between my job and my rescue efforts. Pet nutrition became my major jam and orchestrating our store's relationships with rescue groups for adoption events and fundraising suited my skillset and brought me great joy. Our little store found its way to #1 in the District (and I think the Region) for adoptions during my stint. I even got to organize the Adoption Alley participants at San Jose's annual Christmas in the Park 2015! I took serious pride in my work at Unleashed and my two bosses' support and friendships helped me through the transitional period between what I call St. Francis Round 1 and St. Francis Round 2.

Maddie's Fund foster awareness campaign interview

In March 2015 after spending some time doing courtesy evaluations for various rescue folks, I was asked to join the San Jose Animal Advocates team - four of us (at the time, but later we became six) who walked, slept, ate, breathed, talked, and dreamed rescue triage around the clock. SJAA acts as a liaison between the rescue community and the San Jose shelter, inserting itself into the flurry of deadlines and dates in an attempt to ease the burden on both sides by doing the legwork and heavy lifting of networking. The "needs rescue list" pinged my phone every night around 3-4AM, indicating the latest round of dates and notes on those who needed a little extra help in order to make it out of the shelter. We used our relationships with local groups and rescuers all around the Bay Area to help give these guys voices; we knew which folks to "pitch" which animals to and how to focus our efforts in a perpetual avalanche of deadlines. Review the list, choose candidates, go perform evaluations, take photos and videos for networking, write creative bios for networking, fight the clock, ask for deadline extensions if needed, ask for medical updates, work social media, cash in favors, secure funding when needed, cross your fingers, become heavily emotionally invested, and then either succeed or fail. Save a life or mourn a life. Either way, get over it quickly because the caseload is never just one dog or cat - it's 5, 10, 15, or more at a time. And that clock is always ticking in three day increments. I got to the point where I'd wake up in the middle of the night just before the next NRL came in so I could catch up on messages in order to get a head start on the next day. No alarm clock needed, just the constant need to check my phone and do work that could never wait dragging me out of my slumber each night. I easily put in 40 volunteer hours per week for SJAA in addition to my 40 hour per week job. SJAA is like an around the clock emergency that never allows for breaks, comfort, or a lasting sense of accomplishment. On top of that, we constantly had to sort out difficulties between team members and often between ourselves and the shelter team. Dynamics flew from both sides every day and it wasn't always clear that we were on the same side. It became sort of a "too many cooks in the kitchen" situation. Sure, there was one week in which we secured rescue for twelve dogs who weren't supposed to make it out, but there was also the week immediately preceding where we lost four into whom we'd poured immeasurable effort. I'll never forget the day I assessed 17 dogs in three hours, only to spend three more hours typing up my formal evaluations once I got home. In any case, even for someone as capable of compartmentalizing and embracing a clinical approach to heavily charged tasks as I am, I couldn't sustain the emotional roller coaster of SJAA. I found it hurting my marriage, as I became more married to my inboxes than my husband, more likely to be late to dinner because my evaluations at the shelter ran long, more likely to fall asleep on the couch with my phone in my hand during a movie, more likely to lose myself in the endless flurry of rescue triage and lives in limbo. After 9 months of SJAA trenchwork, I resigned. I quit for myself, for my husband, and for the animals. I had to make sure I didn't burn out completely so that I could continue saving lives longterm. It was an amazing ride, but it was time to rest and switch gears. Turns out I didn't have much time to rest...

St. Francis APS 5k "Run for Rescue" 2016

I'd maintained a working relationship with the President of St. Francis after the "break up" and during my time with SJAA. I'd reached out to her a few times to take in animals we were networking. She lives in Arizona, so the deal was always that I'd manage the dog and its foster home if St. Francis sponsored it. I was amazed by her willingness to work with me after all of the mud-slinging done during the split, but we put our cards on the table and shared our healing processes. I'd never had anything but pleasant dealings with her and she'd never shown me anything but graciousness. When she asked if I'd assume rescue operations for St. Francis and help her rebuild, I needed time to think. It took me a while to process this development and to really consider whether it was something I wanted to do. After SJAA, I felt I needed to run a rescue like I needed a hole in my head - those of you who know me have heard me say this time and time again! And oh my god, I'd have to do cat rescue, too! Hah. But I also really valued the concept of helping restore a community pillar like this group and seeing something good triumph over all the garbage tossed our way. I accepted her offer and began recruiting fosters and rebuilding our animal inventory. I made it my mission to do things differently - I had to in order to show the animal welfare community that St. Francis wasn't the monster under the bed that they'd heard about from a few power hungry egomaniacs who'd lost their way and attempted to burn the barn on their way out. I had to regain everyone's trust on behalf of this organization; I had to make St. Francis rise from the ashes. There's only one way for one girl to do that: get. to. work.

Most of our trusty crew!

Tee up St. Francis Round 2! I spent eight months championing this 44 year old organization's legacy, its present approach, and its future mission. I believed in what I was doing; I believed in this little mini crusade that became my pet project. I was so done with the default desperate ways of rescue; I wanted something more sustainable and more stable that would cause less grief for everyone involved. Working with my friends proved to be the most powerful approach I could've ever cooked up. One by one, the very best of the old St. Francis crew - most of whom are my personal friends - returned to the group wanting to help. It turns out that helping friends make a difference in something you all share passion and respect for is a very powerful thing. And with every animal we helped, with every new or old volunteer we recruited, with every adoption event or fundraiser or volunteer get together we held, we felt that sense of community achievement that so many rescues fail to foster. We made one hell of a team and we saw St. Francis grow in ways it never had before due to the strong ties and great integrity across our volunteer network, our little St. Francis family. We won. We all banded together and enabled St. Francis to shrug off the cloud of disrespect and misuse left behind from 2015 and reclaim its place as a cherished pillar of animal welfare in our community. We all got to glean a great sense of vindication and achievement for ourselves, as well. This felt amazing. Not only did this "project" help me heal, but it helped me build even stronger friendships and hopefully make some lasting impressions for change in the way volunteers are treated across the board. Don't get me wrong, our animal inventory and "numbers" were impressive, but that's only one moving part of the machine. The people - they're the key. When people want to help, it's our job to help them figure out how to help. Folks could do anything with their time, so if they want to give it to you, to your cause, take their hand and graciously show them how to do so. It's not rocket science; treat people with respect and foster constructive contribution. Take the time to high five or publicly recognize or raise a glass when someone does something good. We all need that pat on the back! Rescue isn't about us, but we can't do it if we lose ourselves along the way. Find that balance and help others see it - don't keep it a secret. I am thankful to Caron and humbled by the opportunity to further St. Francis APS; to say it's been a remarkable journey is an understatement. I owe extensive thanks to Kim for her undying support and eagerness to learn all things rescue on such a quick timeline. I am eternally grateful to my friends and rescue peers for the support and camaraderie they've given me throughout this crazy endeavor. I believe St. Francis will always be better for it, because of all of you and the love you brought back to it.

My birthday rolled around and I got an unexpected gift in the mail: an acceptance letter to the Foothill College Veterinary Technology program. Finally. Except I felt nothing upon opening the envelope; I wasn't excited anymore. I'd found so much purpose in the St. Francis project and gained so much more experience than I'd ever imagined; I wasn't keen on giving it all up for something that would throw me back into a state of grueling challenge. Timing is a funny thing; I still very much want to build a career as a vet tech, but not right now. I worked toward acceptance for almost three years and it was weird to say no when the opportunity finally presented. I was happy...I'd found my place. Finally. I signed my name to the line declining my spot in the program and stuck the form in the mail. With great discussion and realization that our West Coast adventure had just come to a transition point, we decided to move back to Atlanta. Just like that, my focus changed. California hadn't kicked my butt after all - it just threw me curve ball after curve ball until my carefully laid plans became an almost unrecognizable tapestry of colorful experiences. I got a new tattoo to symbolize this and to parallel the one I got upon leaving Atlanta. Drew took a new job and I left mine to focus on rescue full time and, incidentally, I've started a small pet sitting business along the way (Wet Noses ATL). 

Count the brown dogs!

So, that's what I've been up to since 2014. The decision to leave St. Francis in the form of a gradual hand-off was difficult, but I managed things long distance for about a month and then found myself ready to let go. I learned so incredibly much during the almost three years we spent in California. The good, the bad, the ugly, the awesome, the inspirational, the humbling, and the challenging. These things make us who we are...I wouldn't change any of it, not even the lessons your own mother hopes you'll never have to learn. I will never stop being a pain in the ass! Never stop questioning the status quo, pondering change, stretching that comfort zone, building new bridges and carefully crossing old creaky ones without looking back, pressing for success, and advocating for what you believe in. Never. Stop. Being. Genuine. I'm still struggling to find my place here in Atlanta rescue again; things are different since we left and I'm having a hard time not running my own circus so to speak, BUT I'm proud to say I've been here before and patience will yield whatever is next. In the meantime, we foster here and there. You know the drill! The time has come for our next adventure...

P.S.: To those of you at the San Jose shelter, at SJAA, and of course to everyone who played a part in St. Francis Round 2, thank you from the depths of my crazy dog lady soul. Much love!

P.P.S.: This one's for all my St. Francis Round 2 critters: Dogs Chowder, Zoe, Holly, Mimi, Pepper, Prince, Annie, Perry, Sabrina, Bonsai, Snoopy, Big Ben, Rango, Dozer, Buttercup, Alfie, Bumble Bee, Dottie, Skipper, Chippy, Charlie Brown, Rascal, Star, Bailey, Shelby, and Zed and cats Arrow, Harper, Sequoia, Brie, KitKat, Skittles, Candy, Gumdrop, Taffy, Charlie, Raven, Rain, River, Daisy, Magnolia, Cosmos, Dora, Diego, Jesse, Jason, Jill, Friday, Professor Pudding, Ivy, Big Boo, Little Boo, Poppy, Monkey, Tiger, Bear, Bunny, Dizzy, Duke, Miles, Nina, Orangie Orange, Gris Gris, Oscar, Simba, Roo, Stevie, Stewie, Skip, Scout, Tommy, and Oreo. I can't name all my SJAA animals, but you're all in my heart forever.