Phinneas: Happiness in the Now

The Five Foundlings (Phinneas far right)

We cannot save them all. I know - it's a harsh and depressing first sentence, but it's true. Phinneas's story is different from all my others: it doesn't have a happy ending. Friends keep telling me that it isn't fair [when we lose them] and it never is, but this one really isn't fair. Phinneas got caught in death's boomerang; he stared down ill fate with his tiny determination and then rallied against it only for it to swoop back and claim him in the end anyway. Death's boomerang.

Leonard's fleas

So yeah, it's sad and not the typical feel-good plot, but I'm going to tell his story anyway because otherwise he only exists in my memory and I can't allow that. I promise there are glimmers of happiness that shine through the tragedy; I'll do my best to illuminate them. The beginning of Phin's story as we know it is bleak, naturally, as rescues usually are. Perfect Pets Rescue received a phone call saying five chihuahuas had been found abandoned in the closet of a vacant apartment unit without food or water. Huddled together in a flea infested pile, the "five foundlings" survived their nightmarish neglect for who knows how long. PPR took them in and renamed them Mortimer, Rose, Leonard, Blanche, and Phinneas because they all looked like they should have the most classically geriatric names possible. I saw Phin's photo and offered to foster him, as I'm a sucker for projects and his skin clearly needed the most work.

Top: first photo of Phinneas
Bottom: rockin' the PJs

Phinneas came to us completely hairless with lava red skin that was hot and greasy to the touch. I had folks ask if we shaved him this way or if he had mange. The fleas did this to him. It's called flea allergy dermatitis - basically a hyper histamine reaction to flea saliva (read: bites) which in this case irritated Phin's system so much that he "dropped" his coat (severe alopecia). Constant scratching allowed bacteria to penetrate the skin's barrier and cause infection to set in, giving him a nasty odor and open sores. His initial bloodwork looked shockingly clean - I expected much worse given his condition and the stress his tiny little body had endured. He had four teeth, two good looking canines and two horrendous molars in need of extraction. The dental, neuter, and vaccines would have to wait until we got his skin infection and overall inflammation under control. We undertook a heavy duty course of antibiotics for the skin infection and twice weekly medicated baths to knock down the bacteria. I applied some extremely diluted essential oils to topically soothe his inflamed skin and made him wear long-sleeved pajamas to keep from relentlessly scratching. Despite his misery, he craved human affection. He never seemed afraid in our house even with all the other dogs and the foreign surroundings; he just calmly observed everything going on around him and begged for snuggles. I'm mildly ashamed to admit that I donned gloves to touch him and wrapped him in towels as a prerequisite for cuddling for the first week we had him. He was Grade A "yick", but oh so sweet. I lovingly nicknamed him "naked mole rat" and began to get to know the little doggy soul behind the ruined exterior.

As time promoted healing, Phin's personality emerged more each day. He quickly appreciated the space to roam and explored each room of the house with great curiosity. We had a lot of fun watching him observe, learn, and mimic our dogs' daily routine. Before long, he blended right in and moved as one of the pack. All of our fosters go through this period of melding, but to watch Phin acclimate gave me a special joy knowing he came from being stuck in the damp darkness of a waste-ridden closet. This little guy had the spirit of a survivor, a certain quiet bravery about him. I called it #tinydetermination.

A couple weeks passed and his skin began to show signs of healing: scabs. Bruises and scabby patches where he'd scratched himself the worst indicated that his body felt it had sufficient resources to designate toward rejuvenation as opposed to inflammation. A white flag from the immune system; a sign of peace instead of war; light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. They say certain things often get worse before they get better. I'd say Phin's skin was a visual example of this sentiment. He looked like he'd been dragged through gravel and kicked around the ribs, but I found myself smiling at his scabs and bruises because I knew their significance. We cut our medicated baths down to once per week as not to overly dry his healing skin.

Scabby and bruised but on the mend!

Sure enough, little patches of white fuzz began to sprout around his ears and along his back. I couldn't have been more thrilled! We'd added Zyrtec and fish oil to our healing regimen and the benefits showed mightily. This little guy regrew his fur like wildfire. Tufts turned into running strips of down which morphed into full blown patches of FUR. My little naked mole rat was no longer naked! He'd become a handsome little white fuzzball and I couldn't possibly be prouder of his transformation. 

Things were really looking up. Phin spent his days prancing around the house following the sunshine from one warm spot to another. He had his choice of dog beds scattered throughout the house, which he enjoyed thoroughly on days when the sun wasn't shining brightly enough through the windows for him. He danced on his hind legs for treats and dinner along with the others and snuggled on the couch with us in the evenings for TV time. The good life - finally! He was able to get his vaccines in September, gain a whole pound in October, and have his neuter and dental scheduled for mid-November. Adoption would be right around the corner. Phin was doing GREAT. So great! And then he just wasn't.

My little naked mole rat suddenly had terrible back pain, complete loss of appetite, and total lethargy. He hid in his crate around the clock and wanted absolutely nothing to do with human interaction. His entire demeanor shifted. We took him to the emergency vet Sunday night and confirmed the worst: he was in full-blown kidney failure. Kidneys, I've learned, are funny on paper. They show up fine until they're really really not fine. I'll never have all the answers I want: how "not fine" his kidneys were by the time he was rescued from that closet, how "fine" they were before his abandonment, how much his dental disease may have contributed to the problem, whether the happiness and improvement we saw was simply a "rally" or a "surge" like the trajectory of that Newtonian apple destined to plummet. In any case, Phin's kidneys were utterly shot. His temp was 98.6 and the vet said he maybe had one more day in him without hospitalization. Dogs have a very poor chance of bouncing back from kidney failure. Even had we hospitalized Phin for dialysis, his chances of meaningful recovery were decidedly poor at best. I knew looking at the little survivor in my arms that he had zero fight left in him. He was just done. I got mad at myself for thinking the phrase, "he's given up", because that little dog did everything except give up. He survived some sort of terrible neglect, socked death in the jaw, and ultimately looked darn good doing it. But the boomerang - it came back for him. We can't save them all. Even if rescue finances weren't a consideration (they always must be - that's just the reality), it wouldn't have been fair to subject Phinny to what likely still would have been his last couple days hooked up to lines and scared in a hospital. And for what? Only to have to make the call at some point down the road anyway, whether that be two days or two months ahead. No. This is part of the gig: making the painful decisions to avoid suffering. I held Phin in my arms and sang the simplest song I've ever sung as he drifted off, "Night night, Phinny. Night night, Phinny. We love you, Phinny. Night night, Phinny." He went peacefully and quickly, as they usually do when they're already that close to death. Not even a ragged breath. But it wasn't fair. It's just not. And it never is. But we can't save them all.

The happiest photos

My last photo with Phin

I wanted so much more for Phin. He deserved the world's kindest little old lady who would've 

loved nothing more than to snuggle him in her rocking chair until the end of their days together. He had so many snuggles in his imaginary future in my mind. I would've snuggled him more if I'd known I was all he'd ever get. I know how this goes; I know he had three months of "good life" here with us and that I must focus on remembering that. But instead, what kills me is that he only had maybe two weeks of true "feel good" during those three months. Just as everything was looking up, it all came crashing down around us. That's just like life, isn't it? That's 100% why we must find and cherish the happiness in the now. Savor life moment by moment. Remember the details. The "now" is fleeting and is never to be repeated. I've never had a foster dog die on me before, not one that was mine from start to finish. Peppercorn, Brooks, Niko, and Meiko are not forgotten but they weren't mine. I'm always the person holding the hand of the grieving foster parents. I guess it's my turn. I sat at the vet's office with Phin in my arms and tears streaming down my face while thinking, "it's not that it's really any different, it's just that I have to hold my own hand this time". So I held Phin's little hand and I let him go. "Night night, Phinny. We love you, Phinny."

Silly Billie, our Favorite Hillbilly

Billie at the shelter

Billie, Day 1

This gorgeous stray Treeing Walker Coonhound girl came to us pre-named by her rescue group as "Aldie", which didn't really suit her personality. We ended up calling her Billie as a combination of all her quirk: her gangly and random "billy goat" ways, her "hillbilly" country roots being a hound from rural Georgia, and her ridiculous goofiness which had us always calling her "silly billy". I tried to figure out a way to make "Billie Jean" fit because of the spelling, but yeah, no. Anyhow, that's how Aldie came to be called Billie. Sorry, not sorry! I'm sort of big on names. ;-)

I was at the Hall County shelter with Perfect Pets Rescue shortly after we moved back to ATL, helping assess dogs for rescue commitment. Billie wasn't on their list to look at, but she caught my eye in her kennel as we walked by. I didn't take her out, didn't want to slow down their process or interject much in a situation where I was a ride-along, but for whatever reason Billie stuck in my head. I asked about her and expressed my interest, but that's about it. I just couldn't stop thinking about her...sometimes I wonder if at this point in the game I am innately drawn to those that are "my type" or "good saves". Who knows? All I know is that in a shelter full of dogs in need, when one jumps out at me through kennel bars and manages to make that much of an impression, that says something and is usually worth pursuing. Lucky for me - and Billie, of course - I got a message from the rescue that she'd become "urgent" and needed rescue a couple weeks after I'd seen her. She needed a foster while recovering from her spay and entropion surgery before heading up to NY for adoption. She needed to put on a good several pounds, too. We welcomed Billie home on November 8!

This. Dog. Is. Awesome. I fell in love immediately. Everything she did just tickled me: the way she ate her first dinner practically upside down, the way she dove head first into the couches with great enthusiasm for each impending nap, the way she loved to spend hours outside just staring up into the trees looking for squirrels and practicing her houndy ways, the way she tried out every possible sleeping surface in the house like Goldilocks and the three bears, the way she slept with her mouth open - just everything about her carried some sort of dopey adorableness that drove into my heart like a Mack truck. By the way, there's a photo included here that illustrates every single one of those quirky examples of her personality. Enjoy! I loved how anti-feminine she was, utterly oaf-like and completely uncoordinated. I think she had two accidents in the house and slept maybe 75% of the month she spent with us - talk about easy peasy! There's nothing we like better in a dog than 100% Genuine Lazy Bones...this girl's got it! It's like she knew she was born to lie on someone's big comfy couch for the rest of her days.

The Goat (see video below for a situational explanation of this nickname) endured her entropion surgery very well. Dr. Daniel at The Veterinary Clinic in Marietta reconstructed Billie's eyelids so that they droop properly instead of turning inward. Entropion causes inflammation and heightened risk of infection, so Billie felt immediately better post-surgery. I think of how obnoxious it is when I have a mere eyelash floating in my eye and imagine how it must feel like for these dogs whose eyelashes are constantly scratching away at their corneas...she only looked like a FrankenBillie for a few days before we could really see a drastic improvement. Fellow Perfect Pets Rescue foster moms, Lisa and Amy, kept Billie for us while we traveled home for Thanksgiving. By time we returned, she had fully recovered and we got her stitches out. A brand new Billie!

 

Our goodbye photo

On December 2nd, Billie boarded the transport van and headed off to New York. Perfect Pets is located up there and their GA dogs stay in local NY foster homes until adoption once they arrive. I always send a letter to the adopter with my transport dogs, including my contact info and musings about the dog. It's proven to be a great way to get updates and stay in touch once they've left, so here's hoping we get an update on Billie! This sweet girl has a great new life ahead of her and I'm so thankful to PPR for sponsoring her. She was a true pleasure to host! We're rooting for ya, sweet Billie Goat!

Happy Tail: Cap'n Jack!

Straight off the bus and kisses already!

Ahoy, mateys! We've some great news to share with ye: Cap'n Jack found himself a couple o' jolly hearties who be offerin' him a poop cabin to call his own! The ole salt set sail for New York with Quartermasters Chrissy and Katharine on the FODA jollyboat a couple fortnights past. He be happy as a clam in cold waters! His new mateys say climbin' the riggin' n' unfurlin' the sails he was! No more swabbin' the decks for this cap'n...treats n' belly rubs be the only sight in his salty future.

Spoiled rotten, he be!

Ok, I can't keep that up for an entire post. Yes, Wacky Jacky settled in perfectly with his new family. His adoption was lined up long before he left on transport. His parents even had a skull n' crossbones collar waiting for him! He gets along swimmingly with his two canine siblings. Jack's parents are continuing the physical therapy for his hip, but you know he hasn't let it slow him down for a second. I'm super lucky that his mom and dad keep me updated with tons of photos and videos. They even speak fluent Piratese! Jacky couldn't have scored better. The little scruff munchkin steals the hearts of everyone he meets; mine is no exception. I miss his snorty mcsnort face and scrufftacular spirit, but I am so beyond thrilled for him and his forever family. Fair winds and smooth sailin' to ye, Cap'n!

PS: HUGE thanks to Auntie Kirsten for temp fostering Cap'n Jack TWICE during his stay in Georgia!

BONUS: Check out some pictures from the time between my last post about Jack and his adoption below for some over the top scruffaliciousness!

Ahoy, Mateys! Lefty / Cap'n Jack Pupdate!

Shiver me timbers, I'm home!

Pawsome news: Lefty is home again! He spent Sunday night through Wednesday (today) afternoon at the vet being treated for his tummy ailments. I finally got to pick him up just an hour ago and he is very happy to be home with all his buddies again. Oliver missed playing with The Whack Attack! That's what we call Lefty...Wacky Jacky converted to The Whack Attack because he's so nutsy. So, he's home and doing just fine so far.

WHAT, I have to get another bath?!

The vets couldn't quite put their fingers on what caused his massive upset, but they're suggesting it was a combination of the Rimadyl, maybe a little something viral, and possibly worms or intestinal infection. They finally got the multi-point explosions to cease, thank goodness. They sent me home with the works for upset tummy: Fortiflora to help firm things up, Carafate to coat the belly, Panacur just in case he is wormy, and of course the fabulous miracle-working Metronidazole. Metro seriously solves every single tummy problem imaginable. That stuff is magic. So, Wacky Jacky should be good to go from here.

Lefty had has staples and sutures taken out while he was there for his tummy issues, too. His leg looks GREAT. Check out the before and after. His fur will grow back and he will look perfectly good as new! The eye looks great, too. You wouldn't even notice he's missing one at first glance. We are to continue doing the physical therapy exercises for the leg: bicycle rotating it when he's on the couch and shifting his weight to the healing side when he's standing. Barring any more surprise catastrophes, Lefty should be ready to head north in a week or two. Check out the video below to see Wacky Jacky in action (from a week ago).

Me foster mum says I should have me a bit of a lie-down

Yaaaarr, 'tis true mateys, I be a tired scaliwag!

Lefty / Cap'n Jack: SOS, Mateys!

Cap'n Jack is a pro at the side-eye

Paws crossed for Jacky, everyone. He's rather sick. We had to rush him to Village Vets emergency last night. He had diarrhea for over 24 hours, which is enough for concern. As I called the vet, it turned to blood. He was crying and obviously in distress. I thought it must be due to the rimadyl he's been on for two weeks, although I discontinued it the morning before when I first noticed his tummy problems. When we got to the vet, he threw up in the lobby. I really got scared then because I thought he must have gotten into something toxic. We have nothing lying around the house, but I thought maybe he could have eaten a poisonous frog or something in the yard. I was so scared; I know he's not a super young pup and that he's had all his shots, but it looked like parvo. They admitted him for overnight testing and monitoring.

He's also an underbite expert

I got a call at 9PM last night saying we could come get him. I said I'd rather them keep him overnight. Sure enough, his diarrhea continued throughout the night. This morning when I spoke with the vet (the same wonderful lady who operated on Jacky's eye), she said that he's stable but is still passing a lot of blood. His x-rays and bloodwork were clear, so no blockages or organ damage. He tested negative for parvo, thank Dog (the mere fact that the vet tested him shows how acute his symptoms were!). He held down a little bit of food, which is always a good thing. The vet said he's resting well, but she definitely wants to keep him for another day and night at least. Her suspicion is that it's viral, not something he got into. Either way, I know they'll take great care of him.

Behold: extreme ear scruff!

Of course, Cap'n Jack is as affectionate and feisty as ever. He is a staff favorite at Village Vets; he practically has to sign autographs when he comes through the door. A vet tech even asked us yesterday if he's still available for adoption, haha! They said they were wracking their brains for good pirate themed nicknames for him when he came in for his enucleation. Y'all should have seen how excited they got when I told them Lefty is only his "official" name, but that he actually goes by Cap'n Jack! Yaaaaaaarr, mateys! They absolutely love him. So I know he's in good hands. Nevertheless, it always hurts my heart when one of our guys is struggling. Jacky is one of my favorite fosters ever...he is such a lovey little scruff munchkin and is just so happy all the time, no matter what he's going through. So please cross every paw you've got in hopes that Cap'n Jack / Lefty will overcome yet another medical challenge. The poor little guy needs a break!

As if the costs of Lefty's FHO and enucleation weren't already sky-high, Perfect Pets Rescue continues to stand by his side no matter the expense. They could really use some help raising funds to cover Lefty's medical bills, especially now that he's had to have expensive tests and overnight hospitalization. If you can forego an afternoon coffee run or maybe even just a morning bagel to help PPR, please click here to donate for Lefty's care: http://www.perfectpetsrescue.org/donations-and-how-you-can-help.html

Lefty: On the Road to Recovery

Hey, my eye looks GREAT!

Lefty / Cap'n Jack had his femoral head ostectomy (FHO) on Friday. FHO is a major surgery in which they remove the ball joint (femoral head) part of the hip/leg. This leaves the femur free-floating. While this sounds extreme, Lefty is much better off without the fractured, dying, inflamed part of the bone. Leaving the femoral head in place like that would invite prolonged pain and infection. So, in a small dog like Lefty it's much better to just remove the damaged bone.

The vet told us that Lefty's leg injury was worse than they expected. Once in surgery, the vet found that the fracture continued farther down the femur and caused a great deal of inflammation. He had to burrow into the bone and smooth out the fracture line in order to prevent continued inflammation and spurs. This meant cutting into a lot more of Lefty's muscle and delicately navigating around nerves. Needless to say, this is very painful. Lefty was originally slated to come home on Saturday, but due to the amount of bleeding and extensive incision the vet thought it'd be best for him to stay another night. So, I picked Lefty up this afternoon. Aside from his hind end being shaved and the line of staples running down his leg, you'd never know he went through so much trauma. Good ole Jacky came around the corner with the same feisty grin on his face he had when I dropped him off. In just a few short weeks, Lefty will be able to function fully despite missing part of his hip. Just goes to show how remarkable and resilient dogs truly are.

Lefty's FHO incision 2 days after surgery

While he was under, the vet went ahead and neutered Lefty. He also had his eye stitches removed. The eye looks fantastic. I am so pleased with how everything has turned out for Jacky so far! He did great during all of his surgeries and has been an absolute recovery champ. I'll begin helping Lefty do some physical therapy in a couple days. The vet recommended simple balance and weight shifting exercises to help him begin using his leg again. All I have to do is lightly press on his good hip so he'll shift his weight to the recovering hip. That's it! That's enough to stimulate the muscles for now. He's still mostly on crate rest and confined to short slow leash walks, but in a week or so the vet said I can expect to see him tip-toeing instead of carrying that leg. That will be an exciting moment!

Look at that handsome face!

More pawsome news: Jacky can wear the comfy cone now that his eye is healed! No more sharp plastic e-collar! Everybody is so thrilled about this, although I already miss his fancy pirate tape. But check out his super cool brindle striped skin where they shaved him! Wacky Jacky's got tiger blood in him...no wonder he's such a tough cookie! And have you noticed his adorable alfalfa?! Squeeeeee!

Lefty goes back to Village Vets to have his staples removed in about two weeks. Then he'll be all ready to head up north to the amazing PPR folks, weather and health permitting. I can't wait to see him all healed and happy in his forever home! He is going to make somebody a wonderful companion.

To help PPR with Lefty's vet bills, please click here: http://www.perfectpetsrescue.org/donations-and-how-you-can-help.html

Pupdate: Lefty's Progress So Far

Wow! Lefty aka Pirate aka Cap'n Jack aka Jack aka Jacky aka Wacky Jacky is doing GREAT. And yes, we are nuts for nicknames around here. Y'all should know that by now. This crazy little bugger...ya can't keep a Boston down! I know that much. Jacky is no exception. Despite having one eye and a broken hip, he is still totally bonkers. I'm sure it's mostly because he's on crate rest, although we do make sure he gets gentle playtime breaks throughout the day. We've also realized he's still a puppy. He's got bright, white, sharp teeth and boatloads of energy. He's completely fearless and doesn't know any speed except full steam ahead. Unfortunately for him, that means his play breaks are cut short before he further hurts himself.

Having said that, I can't deprive the little guy altogether! I'm a sucker and a pushover when it comes to his scruffy little Energizer bunny butt. His favorite thing in life so far is his rope toy. I got him a mini rope that's not long enough to whack himself in the eye if he kill shakes it. He's obsessed. THROW THE ROPE THROW THE ROPE THROW THE ROPE! WHERE'S THE ROPE WHERE'S THE ROPE WHERE'S THE ROPE? I GOT THE ROPE I GOT THE ROPE I GOT THE ROPE! That's pretty much the bulk of Jacky's brain activity. I love it. He just cracks me up. He'd run on that broken leg all day long if I let him. Don't worry, not gonna happen.

The plastic e-collar is pretty much a mechanism of death and destruction. The vet said he can't wear a comfy cone because it would be too easy for him to smash it out of the way and rub his eye against stuff. Consequently, he's stuck in the hard plastic cone of shame. I hate cones. They make everything so much harder on the dog. Too bad, because as PPR's Allie pointed out, wearing a cone is much better than ripping open that eye socket. So don't feel too bad that Jack has to wear the cone. It's keeping him safe. Plus, his eye is looking awesome! It's not swollen or red anymore. Honestly, dogs are made up of Wolverine DNA, I swear. Their healing rate is unbelievable. Paws crossed his FHO recovery is no exception!

Poor Lefty has had quite a time trying to figure out how to fetch despite being confined to an e-collar. At first he just shoveled everything around like a bulldozer. Now he's decided that brute force is the best option. He smashes down on top of his target in an effort to squish the cone to the side so he can just reach whatever he's trying to get (usually the rope). This has resulted in a couple of barrel rolls / near headstands that have about scared the peewally out of me. It's terrifying, heartbreaking, and hilarious all at the same time. Watching him eat is a whole other thing. I had to hand feed him at first. Now he slams his head straight down so the cone completely surrounds the food bowl. He looks like a crash-landed satellite.

Wearing a cone plus only having one eye has really put the ultimate kibosh on Jacky's peripheral vision. He clips corners, crashes into furniture as he walks by, and slams into our legs. The other dogs are terrified of it (he chases them around like a maniac and smashes into them when he tries to get close enough for a good sniff). It slices and bruises our legs when he runs into us (constantly). So, a couple rescue friends suggested I wrap the edges in duct tape. In keeping with his Pirate nickname, I bought skull and crossbones tape and decked out his cone with it. Now Jack's the most stylin' pirate on the block. Probably in the whole city!

I am clean, regal, and SCRUFFY!

Cap'n Jack got a bath today. Boy, did he need it! Not only does he look like a pirate, but he smelled like one too. He was very well behaved in the tub. I could tell he actually enjoyed it. The poor dude just stood there, shut his eyes, and leaned into my hands as I shampooed him. He even let me *very carefully* wipe all the dried blood and dirt away from his face and eyes. He needed that so badly. I took his cone off so I could clean around his neck and ears really well. Gosh he's so much cuter without the cone! I let him keep it off for a few (closely supervised) minutes until he dried. He was SO excited to roll around in the towels and dry off. I'm not sure I've ever seen a dog peacefully enjoy a bath so much. It warmed and broke my heart at the same time. Judging by his behavior and by the color of the tub water, I'd say it had been a very long time since Jacky last had a bath. Bonus: now that he's clean, he's extra mega scrufftacular!

Lefty / Pirate / Cap'n Jack / Jack / Jacky / Wacky Jacky is a really great little dog. We love him to pieces. He is so affectionate, happy go lucky, and goofy. While he's certainly feeling happier and is on the road to recovery, he still has a very long way to go. Please consider donating to help PPR with his medical bills (see link below). Happy New Year, Lefty! I promise it will be SO MUCH BETTER for you than this past year.

http://www.perfectpetsrescue.org/donations-and-how-you-can-help.html