Another Chapter of the Great Rescue Journey...

I'm writing again! This means two things: 1) I've got stuff to share with you and 2) I've got time to do it! Of course, making time for one thing means cutting back on something else, or in this case all the things. This post is equal parts catharsis and chronology, so bear with me while I bring you up to speed...it's going to be a lengthy one. And before I begin, thanks for listening...it means a lot!

When we moved to California, I had to start from scratch and find a way to insert myself into the rescue scene. As I described in my reflection post about 2014 rescue, I dove head first into the thick of things, gained a lot of experience, and made a bunch of amazing friends along the way. 2015 was messy. As with any field that involves passionate people striving to do big things in the name of change for a common cause, drama and egomania all too often play a nasty role in rescue. The group I poured my soul into during 2014 tore apart at the seams, causing an enormous divide within the rescue community in its wake. Trusted leaders made selfish decisions in furtherance of personal legacies and recognition, spinning webs of lies and destroying reputations along the way without regard for damage done to the cause. I spent most of 2015 trying to recover from the personal hurt and attempts to flay my integrity; I found that fighting the good fight by marching forward with the ever-present need for rescue work was the best way to heal my wounds and affirm my value. Nose to the grindstone, as they say. Rescue never sleeps, never stops, never takes a breath. I showed people who I am and what I care about, which turned out to be a very effective way to gain trust and get good work done. Apparently this approach isn't used as much as it should be. Sincerity is always a breath of fresh air; it's too bad we only ever seem to catch fleeting gasps of it here and there.

Some of my favorites from Unleashed...

Drew and I fostered for a few other groups during the great gap period of 2015 and we had some awesome dogs come through our home, but time and time again I found myself discontent with the group dynamics for one reason or another. I also found it difficult to simply be a foot soldier when I was so used to leading and carrying a bigger role. I struggled to find my place post St. Francis and bounced around quite a bit as a "free agent". Fortunately, I had an awesome little job which I absolutely loved at Unleashed (a boutique concept store owned by Petco) as their Dog & Cat Department Manager. I worked here happily for a bit over two years and enjoyed the meshing of animal welfare between my job and my rescue efforts. Pet nutrition became my major jam and orchestrating our store's relationships with rescue groups for adoption events and fundraising suited my skillset and brought me great joy. Our little store found its way to #1 in the District (and I think the Region) for adoptions during my stint. I even got to organize the Adoption Alley participants at San Jose's annual Christmas in the Park 2015! I took serious pride in my work at Unleashed and my two bosses' support and friendships helped me through the transitional period between what I call St. Francis Round 1 and St. Francis Round 2.

Maddie's Fund foster awareness campaign interview

In March 2015 after spending some time doing courtesy evaluations for various rescue folks, I was asked to join the San Jose Animal Advocates team - four of us (at the time, but later we became six) who walked, slept, ate, breathed, talked, and dreamed rescue triage around the clock. SJAA acts as a liaison between the rescue community and the San Jose shelter, inserting itself into the flurry of deadlines and dates in an attempt to ease the burden on both sides by doing the legwork and heavy lifting of networking. The "needs rescue list" pinged my phone every night around 3-4AM, indicating the latest round of dates and notes on those who needed a little extra help in order to make it out of the shelter. We used our relationships with local groups and rescuers all around the Bay Area to help give these guys voices; we knew which folks to "pitch" which animals to and how to focus our efforts in a perpetual avalanche of deadlines. Review the list, choose candidates, go perform evaluations, take photos and videos for networking, write creative bios for networking, fight the clock, ask for deadline extensions if needed, ask for medical updates, work social media, cash in favors, secure funding when needed, cross your fingers, become heavily emotionally invested, and then either succeed or fail. Save a life or mourn a life. Either way, get over it quickly because the caseload is never just one dog or cat - it's 5, 10, 15, or more at a time. And that clock is always ticking in three day increments. I got to the point where I'd wake up in the middle of the night just before the next NRL came in so I could catch up on messages in order to get a head start on the next day. No alarm clock needed, just the constant need to check my phone and do work that could never wait dragging me out of my slumber each night. I easily put in 40 volunteer hours per week for SJAA in addition to my 40 hour per week job. SJAA is like an around the clock emergency that never allows for breaks, comfort, or a lasting sense of accomplishment. On top of that, we constantly had to sort out difficulties between team members and often between ourselves and the shelter team. Dynamics flew from both sides every day and it wasn't always clear that we were on the same side. It became sort of a "too many cooks in the kitchen" situation. Sure, there was one week in which we secured rescue for twelve dogs who weren't supposed to make it out, but there was also the week immediately preceding where we lost four into whom we'd poured immeasurable effort. I'll never forget the day I assessed 17 dogs in three hours, only to spend three more hours typing up my formal evaluations once I got home. In any case, even for someone as capable of compartmentalizing and embracing a clinical approach to heavily charged tasks as I am, I couldn't sustain the emotional roller coaster of SJAA. I found it hurting my marriage, as I became more married to my inboxes than my husband, more likely to be late to dinner because my evaluations at the shelter ran long, more likely to fall asleep on the couch with my phone in my hand during a movie, more likely to lose myself in the endless flurry of rescue triage and lives in limbo. After 9 months of SJAA trenchwork, I resigned. I quit for myself, for my husband, and for the animals. I had to make sure I didn't burn out completely so that I could continue saving lives longterm. It was an amazing ride, but it was time to rest and switch gears. Turns out I didn't have much time to rest...

St. Francis APS 5k "Run for Rescue" 2016

I'd maintained a working relationship with the President of St. Francis after the "break up" and during my time with SJAA. I'd reached out to her a few times to take in animals we were networking. She lives in Arizona, so the deal was always that I'd manage the dog and its foster home if St. Francis sponsored it. I was amazed by her willingness to work with me after all of the mud-slinging done during the split, but we put our cards on the table and shared our healing processes. I'd never had anything but pleasant dealings with her and she'd never shown me anything but graciousness. When she asked if I'd assume rescue operations for St. Francis and help her rebuild, I needed time to think. It took me a while to process this development and to really consider whether it was something I wanted to do. After SJAA, I felt I needed to run a rescue like I needed a hole in my head - those of you who know me have heard me say this time and time again! And oh my god, I'd have to do cat rescue, too! Hah. But I also really valued the concept of helping restore a community pillar like this group and seeing something good triumph over all the garbage tossed our way. I accepted her offer and began recruiting fosters and rebuilding our animal inventory. I made it my mission to do things differently - I had to in order to show the animal welfare community that St. Francis wasn't the monster under the bed that they'd heard about from a few power hungry egomaniacs who'd lost their way and attempted to burn the barn on their way out. I had to regain everyone's trust on behalf of this organization; I had to make St. Francis rise from the ashes. There's only one way for one girl to do that: get. to. work.

Most of our trusty crew!

Tee up St. Francis Round 2! I spent eight months championing this 44 year old organization's legacy, its present approach, and its future mission. I believed in what I was doing; I believed in this little mini crusade that became my pet project. I was so done with the default desperate ways of rescue; I wanted something more sustainable and more stable that would cause less grief for everyone involved. Working with my friends proved to be the most powerful approach I could've ever cooked up. One by one, the very best of the old St. Francis crew - most of whom are my personal friends - returned to the group wanting to help. It turns out that helping friends make a difference in something you all share passion and respect for is a very powerful thing. And with every animal we helped, with every new or old volunteer we recruited, with every adoption event or fundraiser or volunteer get together we held, we felt that sense of community achievement that so many rescues fail to foster. We made one hell of a team and we saw St. Francis grow in ways it never had before due to the strong ties and great integrity across our volunteer network, our little St. Francis family. We won. We all banded together and enabled St. Francis to shrug off the cloud of disrespect and misuse left behind from 2015 and reclaim its place as a cherished pillar of animal welfare in our community. We all got to glean a great sense of vindication and achievement for ourselves, as well. This felt amazing. Not only did this "project" help me heal, but it helped me build even stronger friendships and hopefully make some lasting impressions for change in the way volunteers are treated across the board. Don't get me wrong, our animal inventory and "numbers" were impressive, but that's only one moving part of the machine. The people - they're the key. When people want to help, it's our job to help them figure out how to help. Folks could do anything with their time, so if they want to give it to you, to your cause, take their hand and graciously show them how to do so. It's not rocket science; treat people with respect and foster constructive contribution. Take the time to high five or publicly recognize or raise a glass when someone does something good. We all need that pat on the back! Rescue isn't about us, but we can't do it if we lose ourselves along the way. Find that balance and help others see it - don't keep it a secret. I am thankful to Caron and humbled by the opportunity to further St. Francis APS; to say it's been a remarkable journey is an understatement. I owe extensive thanks to Kim for her undying support and eagerness to learn all things rescue on such a quick timeline. I am eternally grateful to my friends and rescue peers for the support and camaraderie they've given me throughout this crazy endeavor. I believe St. Francis will always be better for it, because of all of you and the love you brought back to it.

My birthday rolled around and I got an unexpected gift in the mail: an acceptance letter to the Foothill College Veterinary Technology program. Finally. Except I felt nothing upon opening the envelope; I wasn't excited anymore. I'd found so much purpose in the St. Francis project and gained so much more experience than I'd ever imagined; I wasn't keen on giving it all up for something that would throw me back into a state of grueling challenge. Timing is a funny thing; I still very much want to build a career as a vet tech, but not right now. I worked toward acceptance for almost three years and it was weird to say no when the opportunity finally presented. I was happy...I'd found my place. Finally. I signed my name to the line declining my spot in the program and stuck the form in the mail. With great discussion and realization that our West Coast adventure had just come to a transition point, we decided to move back to Atlanta. Just like that, my focus changed. California hadn't kicked my butt after all - it just threw me curve ball after curve ball until my carefully laid plans became an almost unrecognizable tapestry of colorful experiences. I got a new tattoo to symbolize this and to parallel the one I got upon leaving Atlanta. Drew took a new job and I left mine to focus on rescue full time and, incidentally, I've started a small pet sitting business along the way (Wet Noses ATL). 

Count the brown dogs!

So, that's what I've been up to since 2014. The decision to leave St. Francis in the form of a gradual hand-off was difficult, but I managed things long distance for about a month and then found myself ready to let go. I learned so incredibly much during the almost three years we spent in California. The good, the bad, the ugly, the awesome, the inspirational, the humbling, and the challenging. These things make us who we are...I wouldn't change any of it, not even the lessons your own mother hopes you'll never have to learn. I will never stop being a pain in the ass! Never stop questioning the status quo, pondering change, stretching that comfort zone, building new bridges and carefully crossing old creaky ones without looking back, pressing for success, and advocating for what you believe in. Never. Stop. Being. Genuine. I'm still struggling to find my place here in Atlanta rescue again; things are different since we left and I'm having a hard time not running my own circus so to speak, BUT I'm proud to say I've been here before and patience will yield whatever is next. In the meantime, we foster here and there. You know the drill! The time has come for our next adventure...

P.S.: To those of you at the San Jose shelter, at SJAA, and of course to everyone who played a part in St. Francis Round 2, thank you from the depths of my crazy dog lady soul. Much love!

P.P.S.: This one's for all my St. Francis Round 2 critters: Dogs Chowder, Zoe, Holly, Mimi, Pepper, Prince, Annie, Perry, Sabrina, Bonsai, Snoopy, Big Ben, Rango, Dozer, Buttercup, Alfie, Bumble Bee, Dottie, Skipper, Chippy, Charlie Brown, Rascal, Star, Bailey, Shelby, and Zed and cats Arrow, Harper, Sequoia, Brie, KitKat, Skittles, Candy, Gumdrop, Taffy, Charlie, Raven, Rain, River, Daisy, Magnolia, Cosmos, Dora, Diego, Jesse, Jason, Jill, Friday, Professor Pudding, Ivy, Big Boo, Little Boo, Poppy, Monkey, Tiger, Bear, Bunny, Dizzy, Duke, Miles, Nina, Orangie Orange, Gris Gris, Oscar, Simba, Roo, Stevie, Stewie, Skip, Scout, Tommy, and Oreo. I can't name all my SJAA animals, but you're all in my heart forever.

Shiva's Journey: From Struggles to Success

It'd been a while since we'd had a shepherd and Drew was itching for another one. It was just before Christmas and Jake's Wish Dog Rescue was in need of a new foster home for one of their dogs: a gorgeous female White Shepherd who needed crate rest for a month. Shiva came into rescue from the San Martin shelter, where she'd been dumped as an owner surrender because she grew bigger than expected. Shiva weighed 78 pounds at 10 months old. That is a BIG girl. She blew breed standards out of the water; a typical White Shepherd female weighs 55-65 pounds full grown. Still, what sort of jackwagon dumps their dog because she grew 15 pounds more than they expected? It's not like she was supposed to be small. Unfortunately, this happens a lot. Anyway, Shiva was adopted from the shelter and then returned the very next day because she didn't get along with the new people's dog right away. 24 hours. I guess they didn't feel like giving it a chance. So, after all of that disappointment early in life, Shiva ended up with Jake's Wish.

Pretty Lady

Back to why Shiva needed crate rest. The vet suspected a slight ACL injury and wanted to see if crate rest would make a difference before considering surgical repair. Her foster mom was about to go out of town, so we agreed to take Shiva (formerly Bella) and do our best to get her leg healed. Crate rest is tough on everyone involved: the dog and the foster parents. You feel guilty for keeping the dog in the crate all the time, even though that's exactly what needs to be done. The dog feels slighted, agitated, and stir crazy after a certain amount of time spent day after day in the cage. Add in the fact that Shiva was a large breed puppy and you can imagine we had our work cut out for us. We'd done our fair share of strict crate rest before for heartworm recovery patients, FHO recovery, and of course for Raven the GSD with her awful carpal wound. None of those dogs were puppies though, so we were a bit nervous about this one.

Raw bone palooza!

The lying tug strategy

The first week wasn't too bad. Jake's Wish stocked us up on raw bones, giant Kongs, dental chews, and all kinds of long lasting goodies to keep Shiva busy while in her crate. Once the novelty of those things began to wear off, we took her for tiny little walks to the end of the street and back in an attempt to burn some energy without straining her leg. I worked on commands with Shiva to exercise her mind - mental stimulation is just as important as physical activity. She learned sit, down, stay, wait, leave it, go to your bed, and other basic rules of the house with ease. When she got crazy, I'd pull up a chair in front of her crate and work with her on these commands for 15 minutes at a time. It helped, but she still had so much restless puppy energy. Going for car rides helped a lot - she loved sticking her head out the window and

Car rides for fresh air

watching the world pass by with the wind in her face. It helped to just get her out of the house for a brief minute without fear of her over-doing it. She also learned how to play tug lying down. When you weigh that much, it's actually a pretty solid strategy. She'd hold onto the rope and just plop down on the ground, letting the other dog try to drag her dead weight across the room. That was entertaining for everyone. In the evenings, we like to gather up the dogs and watch TV as a family for a bit. Normally we wouldn't let a Shepherd up on the couch, as it's a pretty bad habit for such a big dog to develop, but TV time with the family was a good opportunity for Shiva to feel included and get some love without being wound up. So in all of these little ways, we made it work. Slowly but surely, Shiva's leg got stronger.

It wasn't always friendly tug of war and snuggles on the couch. Shiva was really not ok with our dogs when she first arrived. We had flashbacks to Raven, the only dog out of 30 fosters that we weren't able to integrate, and feared Shiva might be the second. It took a lot of work, vigilance, caution, and patience to integrate Shiva with our dogs. We honestly weren't sure it could be done at first, but with time and baby steps we saw her develop into a wonderful dog. She learned how to behave around each of our dogs, learned when enough was enough in terms of play, learned who preferred to be left alone, learned to look out for the little ones underfoot, and learned not to use her giant paws to bat during playtime. We worked on integration for just a little bit every evening so as to not get anybody's nerves frazzled. It's very difficult to overcome negative interactions once they happen, so we wanted to set everyone up for success as much as possible. Before long, Shiva became just another dog in our pack. We are proud of ourselves for that. Drew deserves most of the credit - integration is his magic power. It's amazing to look back to day one at the dog who couldn't control herself at the sight of any of our dogs, then compare that to the snuggly baby girl who lived to play and cuddle with her canine buddies two months later. She became best friends with Kato, the neighbor Shepherd, too. Shepherds can be really tough to integrate, especially with other non-Shepherd dogs, but I'm convinced it helps a ton when you start with a dog who has little life experience as opposed to a dog who already has habits and behaviors ingrained. Raven was 3-4 years old and had been through a lot. Not to say you can't teach an older dog new tricks or work to overcome a difficult past, but it wasn't worth risking safety in that case. Shiva, although she'd had a couple stints in animal control, didn't really seem like she'd been through anything that formed negative associations in her mind. She just needed to learn manners and how to properly behave around others. Overstimulation is much different than aggression or possessiveness - it's much more workable for us. Points for the puppy! We'd make this work yet. Check out the video of Shiva playing gently with another [tiny] Jake's Wish foster dog, Mischa:

Tired Shivers

After a month of crate rest, Shiva's leg didn't bother her anymore. She started going to an awesome doggy daycare each day to burn steam and get more socialization. We Dog Care was a great experience for Shiva. They let Jake's Wish foster dogs attend unlimited daycare for free. This was a lifesaver for us, because we are nowhere near active enough for Shiva's energy needs. She'd come home after a day's worth of play and just flop down exhausted. This improved her relationships with our dogs immensely. She didn't feel the need to harass them for play all the time, so they grew more relaxed around her. We were able to work on obedience with her more effectively when she didn't have so much pent up energy. All in all, the household dynamic finally hit its sweet spot. Then Shiva got sick.

Shiva went from being perfectly fine one day to sick as the proverbial dog the next. She had the worst explosive diarrhea I've ever seen and it just wouldn't stop. She had no energy whatsoever. On top of that, she developed a nasty cold. Her immune system was just demolished by some mystery bug. No parasites, no worms, no idea. She couldn't go to daycare being so sick, which was ok with her for the first few days. Once we got her GI issues under control (still no clue what it was), her cold became an upper respiratory infection. So, antibiotics for that, which upset her stomach again. It was a less than lovely week in our house. Her energy began to return, but she was still snotting green goop and having a hard time breathing clearly. She needed to stay out of daycare for another week, at least. This was a super frustrating period. We'd come so far with Shiva, only to be blindsided by this bout of illness and watch her behavior backslide due to the absence of her energy outlet. Next thing we know, Shiva's limping again. She'd been so sick that she'd hardly moved, so we knew she hadn't injured it. It wasn't the same sort of limp, either. This seemed to be her hip, not her knee. A couple days later, she began limping on her front right leg as well. At first I figured she was sore from compensating for the back leg, but the front just became worse and worse until she just laid in her crate all day. We were flabbergasted. Usually we take them in, see them through whatever illnesses / injuries / issues they have, then send them on their way to happily ever after. We'd done our job just as well as we always do in this case, but we'd hit an unexpected road block that sent us back to square one.

You mean I'll be ok, doc?

It was time for a serious trip to the vet. When her x-rays came back clean, I really began to worry.  I was scared it had to be some sort of autoimmune issue causing this recurring lameness. Multiple limbs, different joints, on and off again. We ran a bunch of blood tests - nothing. It was just so bizarre. In light of all the negative test results, the vet concluded that Shiva was simply suffering from panosteitis: basically retroactive growing pains. The great majority of panosteitis cases present in male German Shepherds between 1-3 years old. Shiva is obviously female, but she is much larger than the typical female Shepherd. Panosteitis involves intense bone inflammation with pain and stiffness that comes and goes as flare-ups. There's nothing to do about it except use an anti-inflammatory during flare-ups. It will go away on its own with time. We breathed a great sigh of relief that Shiva wasn't plagued by some sort of left field autoimmune disease or horrible joint injuries that would destroy her life. She was going to be just fine.

Once we knew Shiva was ok, we could finally carry on with her adoption process. We'd gotten loads of applications for her, but very few of them were good. When you've got a dog who is show-stoppingly gorgeous, not to mention a fairly unusual breed, you can expect to be flooded with applications of the "she's so pretty, I want her!" variety. 9 times out of 10, those applications are as good as garbage. Shepherds are not for everyone. They are a lot of work, cost a lot of money, and require a lot of doggy know-how. We wanted Shiva to go to someone who knew Shepherds - someone we could feel confident knew exactly the sort of commitment Shiva needed. 

Just as Shiva fell ill, we got a winning application. We told the woman we wanted to wait until she was healthy to do a meet and greet. She was perfectly understanding. When we had to tell her Shiva had fallen lame again, we thought for sure she'd take a hike. She didn't! This lady waited patiently while we tested Shiva for everything under the sun. She still wanted her. We were stressed, but we knew if she bailed that it would be ok. We'd wait for the best home for Shiva, whatever it took. Turns out, this lady was the best home for Shiva. She had a male White Shepherd who passed away at 9 years old and knew exactly what she was signing up for by committing to Shiva. Bingo. She's a hiker and she even works from home. Awesome. We couldn't ask for more and we know Shivrar is just so happy with her new mom. 

Shiva was a very interesting challenge for us. Shepherds are always tough for us. We've got small dogs and we're relatively sedentary. We knew all of that already, but Shiva presented a whole extra set of challenges. I'm super proud of us for working through this one and finally ending up with a happy tail. Shiva became such a good, sweet, gentle girl. It was a pleasure to watch her go from an unruly pup to a well-mannered lady. She celebrated her 1st birthday with us on January 30 and I know she'll have several more wonderful years to enjoy life. We're grateful for Jake's Wish, for Shiva's first foster mom, and for We Dog Care. This one took a village, but it was such a rewarding effort. We love you, ShivRAAAAAR! Wag on, Great White Woman!

Shiva & her favorite toy: Mr. Purp

What's left of Mr. Purp

A word on Mr. Purp, the 3 foot long purple caterpillar. This toy was enormous and Shiva loved plush toys, so duh. It was a match made in heaven. Mr. Purp giggled maniacally every time Shiva kill-shook him. It was a bit disturbing. We are still finding pieces of Mr. Purp. He made the ultimate sacrifice and we'll never forget him.