Proud to be a Crazy Dog Lady

How many dogs do I have now? How many dogs do I want? How many is too many? How many is just right? These are all questions I'm often asked by others, but also very real things I have to regularly ask myself. I've been struggling with limits the past couple of weeks. Frankly, I've always had a hard time saying no when it comes to dogs. Rescue is hard. It's not all warm and fuzzy like a lot of people want to believe. While fostering is incredibly rewarding, it has its difficulties like anything else. It's a personal commitment and with that come a lot of tough choices and less than perfect moments. At first I thought the only hard part would be saying goodbye when fosters go on transport or get adopted. I forgot about the whole self-control issue. Where do I draw the line?

I have three dogs of my own and a wonderful husband who is there to help every step of the way. We agreed to foster one at a time on top of our own, making a total of four dogs in our house. I grew up with three dogs, so four didn't seem like that many to me. Drew told me four is approaching his "crazy limit". I thought to myself, I don't think I have a crazy limit...I could never have too many dogs! Wrong. Not wrong in a bad way, just wrong in a naive way. I'm always wanting more, whether it's the next one I see on Facebook or one I work with in charm school. My heart breaks for them all, but I know I can't save them all. Yet I'm always pushing, angling, and negotiating with Drew in hopes that he'll let me bring in another. So a couple weeks ago I finally did it: I found my crazy limit.

While Drew was out of town, I brought home a fifth dog. I wanted to try it out and see if I could handle five. After all, I can never have too many dogs, right? I got my answer two days into my five dog extravaganza: five is indeed too many for me. I often feel guilty because I have the space and desire to take more animals in, but those are not the only deciding factors in the equation. Maybe if I had five super mega chill Olivers it would be just fine. Maybe if I had more than one incredibly high maintenance Flea I'd be on overload. The crazy limit number is highly subjective and it tends to fluctuate with lifestyle, personalities, finances, etc. I realized how helpful it is to have a partner to share the responsibilities and how important it is to appreciate what you already have. Everyone has personal limits and ours are all likely different from each others'. When you find them, honor and respect them.

Do I still dream about a dog farm? Of course. Does the crazy dog lady part of me still want to take in every dog I see? Most of the time, yes. But I now know I can be happy with four and that I have to respect that for my own sanity, my husband's sanity, and for the well-being of the dogs I already have. When I have too many, nobody feels good. Everyone is stressed, irritated, and confused. This defeats the purpose of what fostering is about: bettering the lives of dogs in need and helping them adapt smoothly into normal household life.

Does this mean five dogs is too many across the board? No! I know plenty of people who have many many more than just five and somehow manage it perfectly. I also know others who prefer one or two at a time, and that's just fine too. These are personal limits; one size doesn't fit all, but everyone has them. Discovering and accepting mine is another growth step in this journey. This is a hard lesson for me. I'll probably always have to work hard to remember why it's important to abide by my limits, but at least now my head has the experience to put my heart in its place when I'm tempted to get carried away. Fostering is such an amazing experience; every day presents new challenges and victories. Thanks for letting me share my struggles in addition to the happy tails!